Human beings are made for community. It’s in the very fabric of who we are. We are social creatures, seeking the comfort of others to make us feel safe, valued, and loved. This need to belong has never been more present than it is now, as people emerge from the isolation brought on by the pandemic.
What does it mean to belong, and why is our emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being so closely tied to it? The answer is simple yet profound.
What is Belonging?
Belonging is finding acceptance, support, and security within a community. It is total and complete inclusion, which provides a safety net for life.
Each one of us has an innate desire to connect with others, which is the driving force behind community. When we find people with similar thoughts and values, we no longer feel alone in the world. Suddenly, we have others walking beside us as we navigate the ups and downs of life. Belonging is the antithesis of isolation, satisfying a deep need within each of us that no other “thing” can fill.
Belonging is about acceptance and fulfilling a fundamental human need. It’s the comfort of being a part of a group and developing deep connections to others.
It isn’t the surface-level acquaintanceship that we have become so accustomed to with social media. It’s intertwined with our identity and self-perception while providing the emotional support necessary during difficult times.
Spiritually, belonging refers to a deep sense of connection and unity with the universe, others, and oneself. It’s connecting to something that is bigger than the here and now and recognizing that our lives have meaning. When you belong, you can let go of the notion that you are alone in the universe and that life is meaningless because you can see how closely intertwined you are with others’ existence.
Belonging brings meaning to the confusion, peace to the chaos, and value to the worthless by developing a sense of community and loyalty that provides support when you need it most.
What is Community?
On the surface, it’s easy to think that community is the people who live in your neighborhood, but it goes far deeper than that.
Community is a “feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitude, interests, and goals.” It’s joining together with like-minded individuals, connecting on a deep level, which promotes growth and emotional and physical vitality.
Of course, your community can be the people who live near you, but that’s not always the case. It isn’t dependent on proximity but rather on a shared belief system and mindset.
For thousands of years, people have relied on community; it wasn’t until recently that we started to segregate ourselves from each other. In the past, they would join together in what could be described as “tribes” to support each other and ensure that everyone was taken care of.
That “tribe” aspect of community is still as important today as it was in the past. Tribes can provide a strong sense of belonging, security, and mutual support. They resemble a close-knit family, where members rely on each other for various aspects of life, including their emotional, social, and spiritual needs.
Hundreds of years ago, this community mindset was made evident in how neighborhoods were built. All the homes were constructed around a central building, usually a church, where everyone would gather together once or twice a week to socialize, check in on each other, and lend support where needed.
As the towns grew, however, this strong-knit community began to scatter, and soon, the mindset behind it fell to the wayside. Unfortunately, now, it’s not uncommon for people to have no idea who their neighbors are or what is happening in their lives. We get used to being on our own and wonder why we struggle mentally, emotionally, and even physically. The truth is clear: we are built for community.
Understanding Our Need For Community
To better understand the human psyche, we must ask why community is such a vital part of living a fulfilled life. Beyond wanting “friends,” community is necessary for mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
Human Nature and Social Connection
Emerging research shows just how extensive the connection between human behavior and social connection is. According to Matthew Lieberman, UCLA professor and author of Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect, “Being socially connected is our brain’s lifelong passion.
It’s been baked into our operating system for tens of millions of years.” Lieberman would know. As a founder of social cognitive neuroscience, a science that analyzes and explores the connection between brain function and social behavior and thinking, he has found that social connection is a driving force in human existence.
When we connect with others, it literally alters our brain chemistry, which was evident in thorough research using functional magnetic resonance imaging, also called an MRI, that showed the human brain is wired to be social.
It also showed a distinct connection between social interactions and physical pain, meaning social “pain” can create a similar feeling in our brains as physical pain.
Big Changes in Our Lives
Community is especially important during big changes in our lives. While it’s true that some people thrive off instability, for most, it causes fear and anxiety.
Community steps in during the times when we feel like our world is falling apart. Whether it’s a sickness, a new job, a loss, a new relationship, or a new home, change is hard. Even when it’s good, it can sometimes feel like a negative experience, and if you don’t have a tribe there to walk you through, the situation can feel out of control.
Adapting to a New Environment
Continuing the above thought, when we are in a new environment, community is vital in helping us adapt. Feeling out of control and off-balance can cause a mental or emotional spiral, making our thoughts and feelings seem worse than they actually are.
If isolation is added to the mix, it’s a recipe for depression and anxiety. Community is grounding, helping you find your balance when your world is shaky. Having people there to support you can make life’s transitions easier and more enjoyable.
Cultivating a Positive Attitude Toward Change
Change is a scary concept since it makes us face the unknown. When encountering change alone, it can raise feelings of fear, doubt, and uncertainty.
When you belong to a community, you know that no matter what changes occur in your life, you will always have a solid foundation to stand on, grounding you in truth and reality when everything around you feels uncertain. When you can face change positively, you can achieve more and find success, whatever that means to you.
Support Through Tough Times
Unfortunately, life isn’t always easy, and we will all face tough times. Community rallies beside you when you encounter challenges, encouraging, supporting, and guiding when necessary.
Whether you need somewhere to stay, meals, transportation, or emotional support, having a community to turn to will ensure you get the help you need when you need it.
The Psychological Benefits of Belonging
As we touched on earlier, the human brain is wired to belong. When you engage in social interactions, it releases serotonin and endorphins that make you feel good.
A survey performed in the United Kingdom in 2020 showed a direct correlation between coordinated community support and psychological bonding, which provided a sense of unity and identification. In other words, having the support of a community is directly tied to a person’s sense of self and confidence in the world around them.
Conversely, isolation has a devastating impact on mental health. When a person is socially isolated, it can lead to a myriad of health issues, including sleeplessness and lowered immunity. Additionally, isolation is directly tied to increased suicide rates, depression, and anxiety.
Isolation has long been used as punishment and torture due to its intense effects on the mind. A study performed by a research team at McGill showed that some participants started showing adverse reactions to isolation in only a few hours, reporting heightened anxiety and, in some cases, hallucinations.
While not everyone will respond so dramatically to being alone, it paints a vivid picture of how dependent humans are on social connections.
Strategies For Finding Community
Depending on your personality, finding community may be challenging. Many people have no idea where to look for community outside of church or religion.
For extroverts, it may be easier to find like-minded people and develop bonds that will deepen with time. For introverts, this process can be more challenging. Regardless, connecting with people who are on the same wavelength isn’t easy. Here are a few tips for finding the right community.
Join Clubs, Organizations or Support Groups
One way to get to know people who share the same interests is by pursuing your hobbies and passions.
Do you like to paint? Why not take a painting class? Are sports your thing? Join a recreational league. The more you put yourself out there, the greater the chances that you will find people who you connect with, and beginning with things you like to do is a great place to start.
If you are a spiritual person, finding a place of worship is an excellent way to deepen your spiritual life with others on a similar path.
We can often get tunnel vision and begin thinking we are the center of the universe, which can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. By joining together with others who have a similar belief system, you can bond on a deeper level, and they can support you in a way others who aren’t like-minded may not be able to.
If you’re going through a change in life or have recently lost someone, support groups are an excellent option. Not only will you meet others who have similar experiences, but you will receive guidance and advice that you can implement into your daily routine.
Volunteering and Giving Back to the Community
Volunteering humbles us and helps us focus on what really matters in life. When we can see clearly, we can make better choices on who we want to include in our community. When you spend time serving others and giving back, you get a sense of fulfillment that is unlike any other. It touches a deep place in our souls that longs to support others and makes us feel good.
Joining together with people who want to give back is a great way to uplift yourself and those around you. The people you spend time around will always influence your thoughts, so choosing wisely and picking positive, driven individuals can have a far-reaching impact on your future.
Utilizing Social Media and Online Platforms
The internet allows us to connect with people across the globe that we would have never met otherwise. Community doesn’t have to be people who live in your neighborhood; it can be those you meet online who support and rally behind you.
There are so many social media and online platforms out there; they can be an excellent space to grow friendships and open your mind to new experiences. Just be careful and never provide personal information to people you don’t know.
How to Build Meaningful Connections
To build meaningful connections, you must allow yourself to be authentic, vulnerable, and empathetic, all while actively listening to what others say. It’s helpful to be proactive, step outside your comfort zone and take initiative with reaching out.
Yes, you open yourself up to rejection and make yourself vulnerable, but facing these fears is the only way to build connections that go beyond the superficial and offer you the sense of belonging you were made for.
Patience and persistence are key in your journey to belonging. You may not find your community right away, and that’s ok. Don’t give up! Once you finally connect with like-minded people, everything will fall into place, and you will finally have the belonging your soul craves with people who will support you unconditionally.

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